This is so timely and helpful. This morning I shared with my business partner how a client’s repeatedly negative feedback on certain work products (when they chose not to show up for design reviews before we finalized the work) left me angry, frustrated and demotivated, with a good dose of resentment. Now I know why and have an alternative to loosing my sh**. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s one I’m pretty sure every one of us can relate to (including the “losing my shit” part, which is a phrase I absolutely should have put the article :)).
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this article Juliette. Yes. Criticism and negative comments. Two bugaboos to be sure.
What I took from this article is the blessedly quick transition you made from "losing your shit" (a state I can totally relate to) to calm presence (a state I attempt to start each and every day with). The act of simply noticing your breath, the feel of your daughter's hair between your fingers as you nimbly braid away (how do your hands know how to move that way?), the clinky clunky sounds from the loving spouse in the other room (with his own set of mindstuffs), this IS the stuff. This IS presence. Sights, sounds, smells, touch feelings, the breath. You've arrived already at enlightenment, at least in my humble opinion. Guy in underpants googling "dopamine" in gramma's basement trying to get your goad easily floats away into the vapors. Nobody worth their salt is going to get into a debate about a neuroscience nuance on a substack comment feed (IMHO). That's just strutting, to put it lightly.
All that being said, thoughts and feelings (like anger triggered by an asinine post) crawl into the present tableau of the mind from time to time. Noticing the anger, but not responding in kind is really the win. It's OK to feel that red-hot anger flare up, so what, that's just part of the human condition. We are not ohmmm-ing 24 hours a day.
Once the anger is felt, you already have the answer, let it burn out quickly with a shift in your awareness, something we CAN do if we are aware of our own ability to regain presence at any time during the day, which you artfully described in your article. (That part really made me smile.) The half-life of the anger (jealousy, resentment, loneliness, ennui, fear) can surprisingly short I've found. (Not always though! Everything is a work in progress my love).
Your artistry extends far beyond the pen/pencil/chalk, BT. This was wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing it.
I think you're absolutely right... noticing the anger but not responding is the entire win. There is no win to be had (or needed) *outside* the tableau of the mind :).
"Guy in underpants googling dopamine in gramma's basement"... I haven't used "lol" for years but if we are talking about honest reactions, that warrants it. Hilarious.
Oh my gosh! That means so much to me, my heart is all a flutter — I think I just got tired of making people cry so I started in on making them laugh. Love being a guest on your show!! Thx for having me!
Some people are sensitive to it, while others take it in as constructive criticism if it said in a kind way. But if someone's harsh about it, and you know yourself, you're not gonna care what they have to say.
This is so timely and helpful. This morning I shared with my business partner how a client’s repeatedly negative feedback on certain work products (when they chose not to show up for design reviews before we finalized the work) left me angry, frustrated and demotivated, with a good dose of resentment. Now I know why and have an alternative to loosing my sh**. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s one I’m pretty sure every one of us can relate to (including the “losing my shit” part, which is a phrase I absolutely should have put the article :)).
Thank you for this! It is very helpful!!
You are most welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Extremely helpful. Thank you 😊
You are most welcome! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this article Juliette. Yes. Criticism and negative comments. Two bugaboos to be sure.
What I took from this article is the blessedly quick transition you made from "losing your shit" (a state I can totally relate to) to calm presence (a state I attempt to start each and every day with). The act of simply noticing your breath, the feel of your daughter's hair between your fingers as you nimbly braid away (how do your hands know how to move that way?), the clinky clunky sounds from the loving spouse in the other room (with his own set of mindstuffs), this IS the stuff. This IS presence. Sights, sounds, smells, touch feelings, the breath. You've arrived already at enlightenment, at least in my humble opinion. Guy in underpants googling "dopamine" in gramma's basement trying to get your goad easily floats away into the vapors. Nobody worth their salt is going to get into a debate about a neuroscience nuance on a substack comment feed (IMHO). That's just strutting, to put it lightly.
All that being said, thoughts and feelings (like anger triggered by an asinine post) crawl into the present tableau of the mind from time to time. Noticing the anger, but not responding in kind is really the win. It's OK to feel that red-hot anger flare up, so what, that's just part of the human condition. We are not ohmmm-ing 24 hours a day.
Once the anger is felt, you already have the answer, let it burn out quickly with a shift in your awareness, something we CAN do if we are aware of our own ability to regain presence at any time during the day, which you artfully described in your article. (That part really made me smile.) The half-life of the anger (jealousy, resentment, loneliness, ennui, fear) can surprisingly short I've found. (Not always though! Everything is a work in progress my love).
Your artistry extends far beyond the pen/pencil/chalk, BT. This was wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing it.
I think you're absolutely right... noticing the anger but not responding is the entire win. There is no win to be had (or needed) *outside* the tableau of the mind :).
"Guy in underpants googling dopamine in gramma's basement"... I haven't used "lol" for years but if we are talking about honest reactions, that warrants it. Hilarious.
Oh my gosh! That means so much to me, my heart is all a flutter — I think I just got tired of making people cry so I started in on making them laugh. Love being a guest on your show!! Thx for having me!
Some people are sensitive to it, while others take it in as constructive criticism if it said in a kind way. But if someone's harsh about it, and you know yourself, you're not gonna care what they have to say.
You’re absolutely right — the delivery matters, but so does your security in your own identity.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.